I have bipolar disorder. So, why am I telling you this? Why am I telling the world in a podcast? Well, it's not the first time I've done so. At some point between 2005 and 2010, I had a WordPress blog called This Is Your Brain on Lithium in which I chronicled some of my adventures with bipolar disorder, my treatment, and life in general. In a fit of pique or paranoia, I'm not sure which, I erased all evidence of its existence. I regret that now.
This podcast, like the blog that predated it, arose from, you guessed it, hypomania. I wanted a cool microphone on my desk, so I had to come up with an excuse to use it. And so, Polarized Lens was born. Mind you, I stifled the impulse for at least a couple of years, but when a friend announced that he had followed through with starting a podcast as we had at one time discussed, I played catch up as only a manic-depressive can. One of the reasons I hesitated for so long was that I knew that the topic could only be one thing. And I was not ready to talk about that in a public space again yet. But I had already started working in GarageBand on a first episode when Sinéad O'Connor's death was announced, and that pitched me headlong over the cliff.
I still haven't really answered the question of why let the world know I have bipolar disorder. Because, not uncharacteristically, I feel compelled. Sometimes it seems like all I am is bipolar disorder, and I need an outlet. I wanted to learn a new thing, so podcast instead of blogs, which I have done to death (and here I am anyway). And, I wanted to share my many years of experience living with bipolar disorder. I like to think someone might be helped.
