Stigma of Mental Illness

1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,120 This is Polarized Lens with Jennifer Merchan. 2 00:00:03,120 --> 00:00:08,480 Polarized Lens is a podcast that examines life through the filter of bipolar disorder. 3 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:18,800 Created and hosted by a person living with bipolar disorder, Polarized Lens aims to explore the challenges of that mode of life in this neurotypical world, 4 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:24,720 raise awareness, and help those who want to understand more about bipolar disorder. 5 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:31,600 Content note, suicide and the stigma that follows it is discussed in a large part of the episode. 6 00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:37,040 Episode 7, Stigma of Mental Illness 7 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:47,840 If you've been following this podcast, or even if you have any awareness of the world around you, you can probably attest to some of the indignities of mental illness. 8 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:55,600 I've been too busy telling my story to dwell on the indignities, but I hope that I've been telling it in a way that they are clear. 9 00:00:55,600 --> 00:01:00,720 Some are minor but wearing, others are not minor and harder to bear. 10 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:07,520 But the stigma of mental illness looms like a storm cloud in the sky and can feel like the pressure of the ocean. 11 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:11,680 The silences created by stigma can be deadly. 12 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:19,040 So let's take out our polarized lens, give it a bit of a twist, and examine that stigma. 13 00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:24,000 Stigma is something that many people experience for varied reasons. 14 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:29,040 But the stigma of mental illness holds a special place in the public's collective heart. 15 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:33,680 And the different types of mental illness rank at different levels of stigma. 16 00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:39,040 On the bottom rung of the ladder sits depression and generalized anxiety disorder. 17 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:43,440 Then right above that comes OCD and PTSD. 18 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:47,360 In the middle of the ladder we find bipolar disorder. 19 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:53,840 Above that are dissociative identity disorder and borderline personality disorder. 20 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:58,080 And on that rung all the way at the top sits schizophrenia. 21 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:03,600 The more unusual the behaviors associated with the illness, the greater the stigma. 22 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:11,840 What makes even less sense than stigma of merely living with mental illness is the stigma encountered when trying to seek treatment. 23 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:15,600 Seeking treatment for your illness does not mean you are weak. 24 00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:27,200 Acknowledging your illness and then actively seeking treatment, advocating for yourself, and persisting in caring for yourself is the bravest course of action you can take. 25 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:34,000 Now when you are first diagnosed with bipolar disorder, for a while your life becomes devoured by it. 26 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:38,000 You don't know what is you and what is bipolar disorder. 27 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:44,160 This is when you have to learn that you are not the illness, you are living with bipolar disorder. 28 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:49,280 Even though you are just living with it, bipolar disorder is not a friendly companion. 29 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:58,160 It is a savage beast that you have to work hard to keep in check with medicine, with therapy, and with coping skills. 30 00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:07,360 But no matter what you do, no matter how well you keep the beast in check, it will rear its ugly head when you can least afford it. 31 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:13,600 And when that happens, you have to be ready to deal with the stigma that comes with bipolar disorder. 32 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:26,880 Having been diagnosed with both major depression and bipolar disorder, I can tell you that the stigma of bipolar disorder really does rank an order of magnitude greater than the stigma of major depression. 33 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:33,600 This is due in part to bipolar disorder being a more severe and harder to treat illness. 34 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:42,560 Also, the behavior of a person with depression causes less discomfort to others than that of a person with bipolar disorder. 35 00:03:42,560 --> 00:03:49,040 Case in point, when the man I am married to now is depressed, he sleeps, bothering no one. 36 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:54,880 But when I have a mixed episode, I don't just get angry at people, I yell and rage. 37 00:03:54,880 --> 00:04:02,480 It doesn't happen much anymore except in micro bursts, but it used to happen often and not briefly. 38 00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:07,200 I once nearly put my foot through a car windshield from the inside. 39 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:13,760 People also think depression can be fixed, that the person is just going through a bad time. 40 00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:22,880 Those same people immediately write off people with bipolar disorder as completely hopeless basket cases to be avoided at any cost. 41 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:26,320 I ran into stigma at the doctor's office. 42 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:35,360 My gastroenterologist, after I had been seeing him for a few years, surprised me when I brought up my bipolar disorder in an office visit. 43 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:39,520 It obviously made him uncomfortable and he said, 44 00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:45,440 You don't seem bipolar, you seem fine. Usually I can smell it on people. 45 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:52,720 Then he added, but not you, like it was a compliment. It was mortifying. 46 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:58,080 Then there's the stigma where there should be none, within the family. 47 00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:02,480 Silence about mental illness has no place within families. 48 00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:07,840 Family members need to know when mental illness and bipolar disorder runs in the family. 49 00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:13,360 That awareness is necessary so they can watch out for it in themselves and their children. 50 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:20,400 Not to mention avoiding the isolation a young adult family member feels when they realize there is something wrong. 51 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:29,840 And of course, families should be able to discuss what behaviors to look out for to know when something is wrong or when help is needed. 52 00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:34,480 Which brings me to the greatest stigma, the stigma of suicide. 53 00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:40,960 I have had four first cousins die by suicide, that I know of. 54 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:46,400 And that's what I want to talk about, the that I know of part. 55 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:52,240 Here, in this part of the country, the stigma of suicide manifests as silence. 56 00:05:52,240 --> 00:06:00,160 In these heavily Catholic small rural communities, the victims are not blamed, but martyred in silence and pity. 57 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:06,880 The church no longer sees suicide as a black and white issue, but instead sees that, quote, 58 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:13,360 grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture, 59 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:19,360 can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide, end quote. 60 00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:27,440 If someone dies by suicide, the deceased and their family are met with prayers and sympathy by the community. 61 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:34,240 When the veil of silence is broken, it's usually by an older person who has seen so much suicide. 62 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:40,240 And what is heard most is, I guess he just couldn't take it anymore. 63 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:46,160 It is clear that within the silence lies not only pain, but shame. 64 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:50,560 What was done is unspeakable, and the silence is deafening. 65 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:57,680 The silence makes it harder for others in the family with similar problems to get effective help when needed, 66 00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:01,280 and to know that they are by no means alone. 67 00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:08,320 In many of the communities of the United States, those who die by suicide, especially those who appear in the media, 68 00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:12,880 are openly blamed for their actions or for the feelings of others. 69 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:21,520 They are called selfish or immoral, considered broken or cowards, and are seen as bringers of shame to their families. 70 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:28,080 This is public stigma, the opinions of people outside the deceased person's family. 71 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:32,560 The thinking and language surrounding suicide is changing. 72 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:42,000 The media's handling of it is evolving as well, so we can and should talk about suicide and thoughts of suicide when they are relevant. 73 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:48,960 We should not discuss methods and locations and the mistaken notion that it is a valid escape. 74 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:53,920 People with suicidal ideations are helped through discussion of their feelings. 75 00:07:53,920 --> 00:08:01,280 No one is helped by expose-style descriptions of the scene where someone has taken their life. 76 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:06,480 How do I respond to stigma articulated and directed at me? 77 00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:10,080 Historically, with silence and shame. 78 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:12,800 How would I like that to change in the future? 79 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:21,920 I'm not entirely sure, but taking command of the conversation from the start seems like a good idea in some situations. 80 00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:26,480 I've started by no longer being silent about my diagnosis. 81 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:34,640 I've started talking about mental illness and bipolar disorder openly when appropriate, even when it makes others uncomfortable. 82 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:44,080 I have told my manager at work about my diagnosis because changing meds was throwing me in my performance for a loop and it was relevant. 83 00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:50,400 I will no longer hesitate to let my doctors know I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. 84 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:56,880 Yes, it's on my chart and so are my meds, but I want it openly visible in the room. 85 00:08:56,880 --> 00:09:00,880 It affects too much of my health to let it lurk in the background. 86 00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:05,280 And yes, I did find a new gastroenterologist. 87 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:15,440 I have come out online as the author of a blog about bipolar disorder and lithium and openly use my real name as the host of this podcast. 88 00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:24,400 Mainly, I hope to reach others with bipolar disorder who feel alone in what can be a struggle and are searching for company on their journey. 89 00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:37,040 Some of the ways you can fight stigma in your life include not delaying treatment because of what people say, even family, and sticking with treatment in spite of obstacles you come up against. 90 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:42,640 What you are experiencing is real and there is help out there. 91 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:54,080 If you are in a position to and fill up to it, you can speak out against the use of disrespectful or abusive language and maybe encourage family members to be more open and accepting. 92 00:09:54,080 --> 00:10:02,560 Normalize talking about mental illness in the same way people talk about physical illnesses. 93 00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:05,680 When something is not right, just talk about it. 94 00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:13,520 And, most importantly, make sure that self stigma and negative thoughts about yourself don't prevent you from self care. 95 00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:15,280 Don't let stigma win. 96 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:19,360 Thank you for listening. This has been Polarized Lens with Jennifer Merchan. 97 00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:24,160 Visit Polarized-Lens.com for bonus content. 98 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:28,400 I am not a doctor. This podcast is not medical advice. 99 00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:32,640 If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, don't hesitate. 100 00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:37,200 Call or text 988 and connect with someone who can help. 101 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:50,320 Don't go down that road alone.